Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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