K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
