I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
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Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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