haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
