So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
