Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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