$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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