What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize