He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
