Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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