best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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