Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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