ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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