I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
