he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
