I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
