Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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