yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
