Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
