It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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