I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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