You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
