Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
