The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
