hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sext me about skeletons
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
