forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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