She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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