its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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