It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
