Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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