those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
