Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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