this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize