better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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