If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
