You're a womanizer and a bitch.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
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I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize