is your mom at the bar?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
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i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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