you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
