This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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