I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
