I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
