my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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