the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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