Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
