When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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