YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
