I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
