Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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