So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
