She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Someone shit on the floor
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
