Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
