have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
