I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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