We won't sleep together?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
