Cold hands, warm shart.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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