I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
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You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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