no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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