Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
