I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Text me some of your sweat
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
