So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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