His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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