if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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